September 2009
1 post
The Atlanta Falcons
At this point last year, if you asked me who the best offense in the NFL would be in a year, the Patriots, the Chargers, and the Saints would have made the short list. Regardless, no one at that time saw this coming. With the possible exception of the New Orleans Saints, the Atlanta Falcons have the best offense in the NFL. Led by 2nd year quarterback Matt Ryan (reigning rookie of the year), the...
October 2008
1 post
Lane Kiffin
The Oakland Raiders are ridiculously hopeless. Since winning the Super Bowl in 2003, the Raiders have not had a winning season and have had six different head coaches. Today was just another day on the job for Al Davis, the Raiders’ owner. For the fifth time in five years, he fired the manager of his team. He and Kiffin had never gotten along. He finally sealed the deal yesterday that Kiffin...
September 2008
4 posts
Preseason Hockey
Do you hear a loud snoring noise coming from down the street? If so, then you know that it’s the start of preseason hockey in the NHL. Watching a hockey game normally can be boring if it’s low scoring, and the playoffs are borderline exciting, but who in their right mind would care about the preseason. Don’t waste your less-than-valuable time watching this stuff, it will make you...
The USC Trojans
Eat it, USC fans! Your Trojans lost to unranked Oregon State. This means a variety of things, including losing the ranking of number one in the nation. I personally thought they should only be ranked two or three before this game even with their uproar against Ohio State. Now they will still probably be ranked, but if it were up to me, they would be right out of the top 25. A 2-1 record (0-1 in...
Tom Brady
Tom Brady was the iconic quarterback last year. He did it all. He went 16-0 in the regular season. He won the MVP award. He went to the Pro Bowl. He was just 3 points short of winning a Super Bowl (which he’s done already). This year was supposed to be another great year. He had all his basic offensive weapons back (Randy Moss, Lawrence Maroney, Wes Welker, etc). However, he didn’t...
The Oklahoma City Thunder
Come on Seattle! You just lost your terrible basketball team to OKLAHOMA CITY! This could just be the biggest insult to Seattle since it was sleepless. The Sonics (not so super anymore) set a franchise record for least wins in a season in 2007-2008. However, I don’t think moving to OKLAHOMA CITY will help much. Keep in mind that the population of Seattle’s metropolitan area is over 4...
August 2008
8 posts
Utah 25, Michigan 23
It’s that time of year again, and once again there is bad news for Michigan fans. As the first game of the year, Michigan could finally forget that Appalachian State loss last year at this time (which ended on a blocked field goal returned for a touchdown). Well, after a bad first half and a missed two point conversion in the second half, there wasn’t a lot to be happy about for the...
Chad Ocho Cinco
Okay, this is ridiculous. The man formerly known as Chad Johnson has legally changed his name to Chad Ocho Cinco. I gave Sabathia crap when he got rid of the periods in CC, but this is even worse. Ocho Cinco is a number, not a last name! I understand that this is Chad’s way of being independent, but this is going to have to stop. My theory is that the Bengals should have traded him back in...
Replay in Baseball
Today’s the day. This is the first day in MLB history that replay is being used. For those of you out of date on this hot topic, replay has been debated for several years now and heavily this year due to numerous controversial homerun disputes (basically determining fair/foul homeruns, fan interference on homeruns, etc). Some people opposed it because it will slow down games, which already...
The USA Olympic Men's Basketball Team
Well, they won the gold. This “Redeem Team” was a success. The story behind the nickname is that they didn’t win gold in Athens in 2004 so they felt like it was redemption to win in 2008. The team consisted of many of the elite American NBA stars (Kobe Bryant, LeBron James, Jason Kidd, etc). However, if they had lost, it would have been more embarrassing than four years ago...
The NFL Preseason
The only thing more boring than the NFL preseason is, well, okay, there are quite a number of things more boring. However, the preseason is such a combination of boring and pointless that it’s hard to believe that these teams are going to play for real in a few weeks. Not only are the games unreasonably high scoring, but the teams that usually do well are bad during the preseason. The...
The Beijing Olympics
I like the olympics. It’s a time to put aside the world’s differences and show off how many medals the US can get. My problem is that it is in Beijing. It would have saved so much trouble just to have it anywhere else. The first concern was air pollution. Then there was the human rights thing. Now people are accusing the Chinese of cheating in gymnastics. I’m hoping in four years...
Michael Phelps
Michael Phelps is a beast! Not only does he get gold medals, but he breaks world records! I’m not one to give in to hype (that may be a lie), but Michael Phelps may be the best athlete ever. Now back to reality. He is a swimmer, and swimming became irrelevant, well, swimming never really was popular except during the olympics. However he has made me care about this, so he’s obviously...
What I've Missed
As you should know if you’re not mentally challenged (or even if you are), I haven’t made a post in a long time. Here’s the gist of what’s been going on: Brett Favre’s a Jet, Ken Griffey Jr. is a White Sock, and Manny Ramirez is a Dodger. Everything else is unimportant. None of these trades are good and I wish that I could write a review about how bad each is, but...
July 2008
12 posts
The 2008 All Star Game
I’ll admit it, I didn’t watch the whole thing. It was already in the 13th inning and I just said forget it. The AL had so many opportunities to win that I couldn’t stand it. After all, the American League defeated the National League 4-3 in a 5 hour, 15 inning battle that might make you say “just get it over with!” Eventually, Justin Morneau scored the winning run in...
The 2008 Homerun Derby
Last year I watched the homerun derby because I had nothing better to do. I fell asleep for an hour because it was so boring! All you do in a homerun derby is hit meatballs over the fence. Since last year’s was so boring, I decided not to watch this year’s. Well, to make a long story short, Justin Morneau, my Minnesota home dawg, won it. However, Josh Hamilton, a recovered drug addict,...
Kyle Busch
I don’t consider Nascar an actual sport. Maybe it’s because anyone over sixteen can drive; it’s not that cool. Driving fast is fun, but it doesn’t take any skill except fast refexes and a southern accent. It has come to my attention that Kyle Busch is good. Well, that’s about it. Good luck, Jimmie Johnson, but the reign of alliteration is over.
Overall Grade: B-
Hank Steinbrenner
George Steinbrenner is a legend. No owner in sports history is more famous and has more championships than George Steinbrenner. However, in the past year, George gave the team (the New York Yankees if you live in a hole) to his son Hank. Hank is known as being spoiled, fat, obnoxious, and a “moron.” (I watch too much ESPN not to throw that last one in there… Michael Wilbon hates...
Jason Varitek (2008 All Star?)
Okay, this is ridiculous. Jason Varitek is in the All Star Game this year. Normally, I don’t have a problem with this. However, even Babe Ruth wouldn’t go to the All Star Game with a .215 average, 7 homeruns, and only 27 RBIs. This is utterly repulsive. Almost any catcher in the American League is more deserving than Varitek. Most backup catchers are more deserving! This is Boston bias...
Brett Favre
I am a huge Brett Favre fan. When he broke the touchdown pass record last season, it was a great moment. However, I’m not impressed with his retirement. Not only do I think he has two or three more years left in him, I think HE thinks that he has two or three more years left in him. I respect his decision to retire. What I don’t respect is his lack of decision. This is a man who needs...
CC Sabathia
CC Sabathia is one of my all time least favorite pitchers. He did not deserve the AL Cy Young Award last year (even though his numbers were better than anyone else’s). I don’t even consider him an athlete! If you’re 280 pounds and don’t play football, you’re not an athlete in my book. He finally got what was coming to him this year and he is currently 6-8 with a 3.83...
The Tampa Bay Rays
Okay, it’s official, the Rays are good. I don’t like to say that and it does hurt me inside. I was proud to live in a world where if you could count on one thing, it was that the Rays were not going to be a playoff team. In the past, Tampa Bay is the team that builds your momentum up by beating the crap out of them. My theory to the Rays’ success is not Evan Longoria (although he...
The Arena Football League (AFL)
The AFL is basically football in an arena. It’s only that the field is half as long and there’s five times as much scoring. In the AFL, if you don’t score 50 points, you’ve probably lost the game. I don’t really see why it’s becoming popular, since the NFL is the original and always will be the best football league (better than the CFL). The AFL is doomed to...
Williams vs. Williams
I find it kind of funny that both Serena and Venus Williams play tennis, and are two of the best in the world. In this year’s Wimbledon finals, these two sisters battled each other in a quest for the championship. It should have been a classic family rivalry, but of course, Venus won again. She also beat Serena in the Wimbledon finals in 2003. Serena didn’t put in enough effort, in my...
June 2008
7 posts
Tiger Woods's U.S. Open Victory
Let’s face it, the only thing more boring than actually playing golf is watching it (with the possible exception of the NBA Draft). However, when Tiger Woods comes into picture everything changes. Maybe it’s just the thought of one golfer knocking the socks off everyone else is enough to get people to watch. Well, last week, a man named Rocco Mediate decided that he was going to get...
The 2008 NBA Draft
Drafts are boring. No question about it. Things in this one went according to plan. No surprises. Derrek Rose to Chicago for number one. Michael Beasley to Miami for number two. Things get interesting with number three (not really actually, but it gets better later). The Timberwolves picked O.J. Mayo from USC. This was not a surprise and I (being a fair-weather Timberwolves fan) was pleased with...
The Detroit Red Wings (Stanley Cup Champions)
Hockey season may be over, but there is still time to rub stuff in Pittsburgh’s faces. The idea of having a hockey team named after a penguin is absurd. Hockey is a tough sport where blood is commonly shed. Penguins are harmless animals that cuddle up to you (maybe not, but it sounds good). Anyway, if you want to win a Stanley Cup championship, don’t name your team after a cute animal....
Shaq's Rap →
I personally hate rap, but I’ve always been a big Shaquille O’Neil fan. This was pretty cruel and I don’t think that Kobe Bryant should have taken it without a comeback. Luckily, Shaq is being punished for his explicit nature. For those who did not see this rap, this is what you missed: Shaq did a freestyle rap at a night club making fun of Kobe Bryant for not being able to win the NBA title...
Switch Hitter vs. Switch Pitcher →
I’m sure most people know what a switch-hitter is, but for those of you who don’t, a switch-hitter is a batter that can hit right-handed and left-handed. This is useful because right-handed hitters hit better against right-handed pitchers and vice versa. There are also people who are switch-pitchers. Although much more rare, there are a few pitchers who pitch right-handed against righties and...
The Minnesota Twins
The Twins are now just half a game back from the Chicago White Sox in the American League Central Division. They have won 8 in a row and 10 of their last 11. I don’t believe the Twins are getting the respect they deserve. The starting pitching has made a spectacular turn around and the offense gets those “big innings” where they score a lot in one inning and get shut out the rest...
Adam "Pacman" Jones
Adam Jones has been a disgrace to the NFL ever since he was involved in the shooting at that Las Vegas strip club. However, at that time he had two things going for him: he was on a bad football team and his name was Pacman. Not to mention, he hangs out in Vegas. In the last few months, he was traded to Dallas (even after Tennessee had a good year) and he wants to be referred to as...